I’ve been riding motorcycles with a woman that I’ve known quite awhile. We are only friends, although she knows I wanted to date her and was attracted to her. I’m still attracted to her. On our ride yesterday, we got on the subject of dating and the men she has been “sort of dating” and her relationships. She met a new man online and sent him a message before we left to say she was going on a ride. He asked, “With who?”
Her: “I told him you’re my cousin.”
Me: (making the “shame-shame” motion with my fingers.)
Her: “You know yourself that a man wouldn’t understand a man and a woman going riding together and they are just friends with nothing else going on.”So, if you ever meet him, you’re my cousin.”
Me: “Don’t expect me to keep track of your lies.”
Her: “I’d fess up. I’d have to fess up the first time the two of you met. ‘Remember my cousin I told you about? This is him and he’s not my cousin,’ when I introduced you.”
Me: “If he were smart, he’d stop and back off. If I were him, I’d have to stop and say, ‘Whoa! This one will lie to me.'”
She seemed taken aback by that statement for a moment. But, that didn’t stop her justification from continuing.
Her: “No, it takes a special kind of woman to come out and make the truth known right away. To say to someone, ‘I lied,’ and take responsibility for it.”
So, she can justify the lie to fit the circumstances and then twist it to make it ok because of…. “X” — whatever “X” is at the moment. Because of “X”, she’s not really being dishonest or lying. There really is no lie because all she’s doing is delaying the truth instead. In her mind, there is still honesty there.
It’s a perfect example of something that I’ve noticed in women in particular. (And in people in general.)
Women don’t want truth and honesty. They want truth and honesty when if fits them. They believe in honesty when they’re forced to or it suits the situation. If a man does the same thing, he is all kinds of wrong and is disparaged.
I believe in honesty and truth. Complete honesty and truth.