The Curtain Rods

(This was sent to me in an email.)

The Curtain Rods

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates, and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything: cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, and air fresheners were hung everywhere!

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and, eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and, within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later, the man

and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company take everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.

 

I just love a happy ending, don’t you?

Weird Happenings??

Weird Happenings??

 Around 9:30, I heard a helicopter flying nearby, but figured at first it was just flying over.  Then it was sounding closer and closer, so I stepped outside to see what it was.  It was a military chopper. By the time I got outside, it was flying really close, flying over the house in circles. It had flown close enough I could see a man through the side and I could see the guns on it.  It made more than a dozen circles which where centered directly over the house; with my house as the center of attention.  I couldn’t locate my camera as I had forgotten it in the motorcycle bag the other day.  So, I got the film camera and took a picture, but it was already flying higher.  It flew multiple more circles increasingly higher and then left.  A little while later, I sat down here at the computer to check email, etcetera.  Just a few minutes ago I heard a truck pull in front of the house, looked out the window, and saw a city police “command vehicle” sitting in front of the mailbox with a TV crew behind it.  It stopped for a moment as if checking out the house, then continued on.I watched as it made a left, went around the block,  and went back out of the neighborhood with the TV van right behind it.   I don’t know what’s happening, but something is up. 

On a side note…. I dreamed last night that a woman was sitting to the left of me as we were watching TV.  A song came on (either a commercial or a music video) and she quietly grasped my left hand with her right hand and nodded at the TV.  The song was something about “do you love me” and I remembered something about the song and quietly asked, “Is this song going to be used as a signal everywhere now?” She said, “Yes.”  I had the feeling there was someone in her life and she was trying to figure out how I felt about her. I said, “It’s something we’d have to talk about later,” and squeezed her hand.  Then a few moments later, she released her hand.  It was all very surreptitious.

Riding

Riding

Got back in today after my two appointments and got a call from another client having a minor problem.  Since it was nice enough…. and since my brain latched onto the idea that I could “kill 2 birds with one stone”…. I took the bike and went.  The client’s husband liked the bike.  We chatted about them for a minute or two.  When I left, I decided to make a loop back home instead of taking the same route home.  I decided to stop at a convenience store to play the lottery.  As I pulled in to park, a man was getting in his car to leave.  He had the window down and he looked over and said, “That’s a very nice looking bike.”  “Thank you,” I said.

I am starting to get more comfortable with the feel of the bike.  It’s different than the one I am used to riding.  But, boy do I like it.

The Mudpuppy

The Mudpuppy

Regarding the previous post, “One Heck Of A Fish Story”, I give you the Mudpuppy. Make of it what you will.

The Mudpuppy (Necturus maculosus) is a large salamander, about 30 cm long, that lives its entire life in water. It is widespread in lakes and rivers of North America. Adult Mudpuppies are mottled brown with long, feathery, maroon-coloured gills. These amphibians also possess lungs which aid in respiration when oxygen levels are low. Mudpuppies retain their gills for their entire lives, never transforming into air-breathing, gill-less adults as do most salamanders. Like all salamanders, they hide under rocks and logs during the daytime, and search for food at night. Their prey includes insects, snails, fish, other amphibians and especially crayfish. Mudpuppies live more than twenty-five years if they can avoid being eaten by turtles, water snakes, large fish such as bass, pike and pickerel, or occasionally, by mink or raccoon. Unlike most amphibians, Mudpuppies are active during the cold months. Adults are frequently caught by people who are ice fishing, particularly in the late winter.