I sent a text message to Sharyn…. at the number I had for her, anyway.  I said, “Received invite. Will not attend.  Don’t send me things like that.”

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The invitation says to please let them know if you can’t attend and “regrets only”.  So, I’m thinking about the appropriate response.  Part of me says to just throw it away.  Part of me wants to send it back to her with a big “No!” written across it in black marker. Part of me says to call and say that I can’t attend because I have something more enjoyable and less painful to do — like pulling out my fingernails or squeezing my testicles in a vice.

Sigh.

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This is a fresh cut, so I’m not quite sure if I’m feeling more angry or more hurt.  I was looking at the mail a few minutes ago and I had an envelope (with no return address) addressed to me “and guest”. My first thought was that it was from a client that had told me about a concert at a church.  I figured it was a reminder about that.  So, I opened it.  And it felt like a slap.

It’s an invitation for a “‘Friends and Family’ Christmas Party” from “Sharyn, Ed and Staff”. 

Oh, do I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about that.

It’s funny, because just recently I was thinking that Sharyn would be gearing up for Christmas and would not be thinking about me at all.  So, why should I about her.  I was thinking about how I was thinking about her less and how I was starting to get more settled with the status quo.   Now, I get this.  It would be easier to just believe that this was sent by a worker who didn’t know any better.  I am on her client list.  But……. I don’t know.

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I was called today by the place that subcontracts me for work in the counties in my area.  He asked if I had ever considered moving to Charleston.  My name came up a couple of times in relation to a new project.

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I had a $10 coupon from Cabela’s.  So, the other day while I was in that general area, I stopped to see what I could get for around $10. I found a flashlight that was $10.  I thought I’d walk through the gift section to see what was there.  I found this:

And I bought it for my mother for Christmas.  I also decided to go ahead and get the light with the coupon. So…. their coupon worked. They won.  I’m a beaten man…..  Oh, the shame.

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Oh…. and speaking of gaming….  I played a little Guitar Hero II against my nephew last night.  He’s getting better.  He says he is practicing so he can beat me.

And…….. I think it would be neat to see Rhillai play this… if he wasn’t too scared.  And I DO just happen to have 2 guitars…. hint hint.

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I updated last night’s post so that it was coherent.  I was nodding off as I was writing it.  So… it wasn’t quite flowing and cogent sounding.

While playing CoD4 last night, they told a couple of jokes.  I remembered a blonde joke that I heard just recently and none of them got it.  I told it…. and you could have heard crickets…. and then, a couple of, “I don’t get it,” comments. I’m confirming for myself that my sense of humor is…… something.

The joke?  Did you hear about the blond man who had a vasectomy?  His wife kept getting pregnant so he had 5 more.

OK… so…. the tree.

And… what is so neat about the tree?  (Actually, it’s a set of two.  One for each side of the door.)  Let’s see for ourselves.

A video:

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Last night was really bad.  The itching on my legs was the worst it has been.  I knew I had to work today, so I didn’t stay up too late.  But, I was wakened by itching that tormented me.  I was awake for about 3 hours or more. After I treated my legs with Gold Bond extra strength medicated lotion, it helped and I finally slept some.  And I dreamed.  

One of the dreams included Sharyn.  She was at a distance of 50 feet or so from me and never got any closer than that. She talked to me in this dream, but was not close to me; always at a distance.   I also dreamed about being fishing and looking into the water and seeing HUGE fish.  I actually have this kind of dream alot.  In this one, one of the fish was a…. can’t remember the name…… the fish they found that was prehistoric. Anyway, it was one of those and it was about 6 feet long. All of the fish were way bigger than normal.

A little bit of the Christmas holiday got me today.  After my appointment I went to Big Lots for a few small things.  While there, I bought a Christmas decoration which I will blog about later. Am falling asleep as I write.

While putting together the decoration, I was watching a Dr. Phil which had was about women wanting children.  One of them was an older man married to a younger woman who wanted a child.  They had agreed on no children because he never wanted them.  Now she wants to have a child and they are struggling with the decision and problems because of it.

When Jana was deciding that she didn’t want/love me; that was one of her concerns.  I have never wanted children.  She did.  When I was loving her so much, I would have had kids with her just because it would have made her happy.  I loved her so much that I her happiness was more important than whether I wanted kids. During this show, the man said that he thought because he loved her so much; he wanted her to be happy and have kids.  That brought back memories and reminded me of what I felt and said to Jana; it brought a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes.

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Today, I woke up with my back and neck feeling a little better.  And since the walkways needed cleaned badly, I bought deicer and cleaned them.  That meant carrying a 50lb bag.  Then shoveling.  Later in the day, I had to buy a few things at the store, including cat-litter and sugar.  Which meant carrying 40lbs or so.  Then, I wanted to play a little CoD4, so I got online for short time.  After about an hour or so…. I started noticing a burning sensation in my neck and back.  So, I figured it was time to quit so that I don’t pay for it later.

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I actually laughed out loud at this one.

http://www.break.com/index/no-shit-sure-lock.html

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