Words are powerful.  They can start wars, mend hearts, create bonds, destroy souls.  At the same time, words mean nothing without action.  Without it, they are powerless.

Take, for instance, the words, “I love you.”  They can buoy a man’s heart and soul.  They can offer him something which little else can offer.  But, the words spoken without meaning or spoken with contrary action take on a negative spirit or become nothing.

So it is with any word.  If a leader of a country proclaims, “I will invade your country,” it has a meaning.  It has a power, as long as the listener believes it.  If the speaker doesn’t act in a manner supporting the speech, the speech is powerless. It becomes neuter.  If the speaker amasses an army on the border, then the action supports the speech and maintains the power of the speech.

It is the same with declarations of love, loyalty, honor and friendship.  One can proclaim friendship to another, but it is the action which enforces and maintains the truth of the proclamation.  The friendship might start with the simple words, “Will you be my friend,” or “I am your friend.” That is power in it’s own right.  But, that power is short lived and cannot maintain without the reinforcing power of action.It is the demonstration of friendship which nurtures and maintains friendship.  One must be a friend.  One can claim to be a friend.  But, the claim of friendship does not make it so.  It is the actual being a friend which makes it so. 

One must show love, show loyalty, show honor and show friendship.  Otherwise, they cease to be.

I watched a movie, “Wit” that I happened by at Blockbuster.  It was cheap and looked interesting enough, so I bought it.  I hadn’t heard of it, but it had Emma Thompson in it.  She’s generally a good actress and the description of the movie made it sound interesting enough.  It was actually pretty good.  It is quirky and has both a sense of humor and a sense of seriousness about a serious subject: dying from cancer.  It is centered around a professor of english poetry who is considered the most knowledgable person about the writings of John Donne, a 17th century poet.  It is based on an award winning play.  It was interesting how they mixed her memories of her human interactions with her present self dressed in hospital gowns interacting with the memories.  The subject was interesting and it was overall a good movie.

Well…. what a day.  My previous post is about Poorboy; which is where my attention was for most of the morning.  I had to take him to the emergency hospital near Pittsburgh.  The decision to put him down was hard in a way and easy in a way.  It was hard because I didn’t want to, but easy because I didn’t want him to suffer and he could barely breath. The vet showed me the x-rays of his chest and he had what she concluded was lung cancer.  It was a very sad thing, though.  I will miss him.

As I was getting the car ready to get him put in the car, Mark and Jenn (empressreborn) showed up to visit.  Considering how things have been between them and me, I didn’t expect them to visit.  That was something that was a little hard to deal with; but Mark made an effort to put things back on track.  When I got back, I had to do an appointment that was a surprise gift from someone to the client whose computer it was.  So, I had to get ready and leave shortly after getting back here from the vet hospital.  Because I had to leave so quickly, I didn’t get to spend any real time with Mark and Jenn.  The rest of the family did, however.  I wasn’t good company anyway…. so maybe it was for the best.  They brought me a neat little wolf carving.  It is shaped like an egg… with a scene carved out of it.

Tonight, there was much drama in the extended family — serious drama; that, of course, has to find it’s way here.  Sigh.

I feel really run-down.  Today topped off a very long, very busy few days…. and I’m feeling beat.  I hope I’m not getting sick now.

Poorboy 08/12/1994-12/26/2005

He was a good dog and a gentle soul.

Poorboy is sick.  Something is wrong with him, but I don’t know what.  I wonder if he’s going to make it through the night. I’ll call the Vet in the morning and if he’s not in, I’ll try the emergency pet hospital to see if I can get him treated. Why is it my pet emergencies happen on holidays; when I can’t get them the medical attention they need?

I have had some trouble with my faith for quite some time.  I’ve also been struggling with Christmas for at least a couple of years.  This year was no exception.  I have not been able to get in the mood for a variety of reasons.

Yesterday was a long day and I got into bed late; after the annual tradition of opening the gifts.  I had a somewhat odd dream.  I don’t remember a lot of details, but I was in a tornado.  I remember that I didn’t have time to even react or prepare for it.  It came up suddenly and I was in a trailer home.  I have never lived in a trailer home, but I have known people who live in them.  In the dream, the wind became ferocious and picked up the trailer with me in it.  I knew that I was going to die, so I determined that I would wait for the crash.  The wind had me holding on but being thrown about.  I remember thinking, “Well, I guess I could pray, but I don’t even know if I believe in God anymore; so that would be useless and wrong.  I debated with myself while flying through the air and finally settled on praying; just in case.  I started with the Lord’s Prayer and then moved to a sort of “If you save me, I’ll know you’re real” type prayer.  I was calm the entire time.  Then, I felt this sort of pressure around my torso.  I could hear the wind howling and wailing around me but didn’t know if I was still flying around or had crashed back to earth.  I remember trying to figure out if I had landed or not; then thinking, “What is this pressure around my body?”  It was like arms were around me.  That’s all I remember.

In addition to the aforementioned Socom for the PSP.  I also received a Coleman Powermate PMC8144 220 psi Cordless Rechargeable Compressor with Fluorescent Worklight which is neat.  It recharges in the house or car.  I could have used it on the day I brought home the boat.  The trailer tires were low and I had to stop to buy extensions to reach the compressor I keep in the car to the tires.  With this, I wouldn’t have had to do that.

I also received Frantix for the PSP along with 3 horse figurines; including a most adorable and funny bobble-head horse. I also received a wolf crystal sculpture and a rocking horse figurine.  There was a wolf blanket/throw, and also a special edition CD by Norah Jones

My Alaskan Friends sent me a DVD of “Aurora”, about the Northern Lights.  I also received eBible.

As is almost like a required tradition, I also received a gift that was intended for my oldest nephew, but somehow got my name on it.  I opened it and knew it wasn’t supposed to be for me because I was the one that picked it out for him.  🙂

In another timeless tradition, I also forgot to give my mother one of the gifts for her; so I did as soon as I remembered.  Her stylist — a client of mine — called me just after she left from her perm appointment and said, “Your mother was just here and wanted a hairdryer but didn’t have enough money.  If you don’t have a gift for her, this would be perfect.”  Ok… it’s a good thing when the gifts seek you out instead of the other way around.  🙂

Here is this year’s tree.

Well… it’s Christmas Day.  The tradition for our family is to open gifts on Christmas Eve.  We’ve usually made trip to several houses as the family grew.  I suggested this year that we limit the tradition of going to each house; and instead let people give gifts to people during Christmas day when we all gather here to eat Christmas dinner.  I expected to hear vehement disagreement, but it was actually received better than I expected.  The middle ground was to combine gifts from the multiple houses and visit at only two houses:  Mom’s and oldest brother’s.  It was much easier than the last couple of years. With oldest sister sick at home with the flu, we still had about 25 people gathered.

With all of the work lately and the lack of time, I finally got the tree decorated yesterday and started on some last minute wrapping.  With that finished, I made myself presentable and discovered I needed to make a trip for some last minute stocking stuffers.  With things being so hurried, I didn’t get to leave before 6 o’clock, which made for a dearth of open stores.  K-Mart became the saving place (in the sense of “savior”) because they stayed open until 9.  So, that’s where youngest sister and I hunted for a few last minute things, including — I discovered — said sister’s gift for me in the game section.  She settled on PSP SOCOM: Fireteam Bravo which I will play for the first time as soon as I finish with this entry.  While in K-Mart, an announcement for a free drawing for a gold bracelet was announced, so sister and I stopped by the podium to get a ticket.  I looked at the tickets and saw a number ending in 68 and in 61 as I picked up the 61 ticket.  After the little sales pitch, the man picked a winner out of the tickets and 68 won. We finished our last minute shopping and headed home for more last minute preparations of gift wrapping and the group had already started gathering.  Egg-nog was made and the gifting began.

All in all, it was a pleasant evening.

Well… Christmas is almost here and I have nothing ready.  I don’t have the tree decorated.  I have been so busy, I can’t find time to do half of what I would do normally.  And….. really….. can’t get in the mood for it anyway.