My Cousin Says I Internalize

My cousin and I were talking about relationships and how we behave in relation to other people.  He says I internalize.  I’ve actually thought about that before.  I know that I usually weigh my words carefully, in order to give the desired impression and avoid misunderstandings.  I sometimes have this desire, though, to just say whatever comes to mind.  Just blurt out what I initially think, rather than considering the impact that my words will have.

I also have been thinking about those that have had the most impact on my emotional well-being or lack thereof. Those who — and the situations which — have affected me the most.  When I think about the people, I wonder if they think about me as much as I do them.  I wonder if they struggle with the respective situations as much as I have. I wonder if they care about me as much as I do them. I can’t seem to see their perspective without it being filtered through much confusion and indecisiveness on my part as to what they really think.  I tend, however, toward the opinion that they see me and the situations as just fleeting moments without much consequence.

(Side Note:  The spell-checker says that “misunderstandings” should be replaced with “misunderstandings”. Huh, imagine that.)

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