My cousin and I were talking about relationships and how we behave in relation to other people. He says I internalize. I’ve actually thought about that before. I know that I usually weigh my words carefully, in order to give the desired impression and avoid misunderstandings. I sometimes have this desire, though, to just say whatever comes to mind. Just blurt out what I initially think, rather than considering the impact that my words will have.
I also have been thinking about those that have had the most impact on my emotional well-being or lack thereof. Those who — and the situations which — have affected me the most. When I think about the people, I wonder if they think about me as much as I do them. I wonder if they struggle with the respective situations as much as I have. I wonder if they care about me as much as I do them. I can’t seem to see their perspective without it being filtered through much confusion and indecisiveness on my part as to what they really think. I tend, however, toward the opinion that they see me and the situations as just fleeting moments without much consequence.
(Side Note: The spell-checker says that “misunderstandings” should be replaced with “misunderstandings”. Huh, imagine that.)
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