The invitation says to please let them know if you can’t attend and “regrets only”.  So, I’m thinking about the appropriate response.  Part of me says to just throw it away.  Part of me wants to send it back to her with a big “No!” written across it in black marker. Part of me says to call and say that I can’t attend because I have something more enjoyable and less painful to do — like pulling out my fingernails or squeezing my testicles in a vice.

Sigh.

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This is a fresh cut, so I’m not quite sure if I’m feeling more angry or more hurt.  I was looking at the mail a few minutes ago and I had an envelope (with no return address) addressed to me “and guest”. My first thought was that it was from a client that had told me about a concert at a church.  I figured it was a reminder about that.  So, I opened it.  And it felt like a slap.

It’s an invitation for a “‘Friends and Family’ Christmas Party” from “Sharyn, Ed and Staff”. 

Oh, do I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about that.

It’s funny, because just recently I was thinking that Sharyn would be gearing up for Christmas and would not be thinking about me at all.  So, why should I about her.  I was thinking about how I was thinking about her less and how I was starting to get more settled with the status quo.   Now, I get this.  It would be easier to just believe that this was sent by a worker who didn’t know any better.  I am on her client list.  But……. I don’t know.

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I was called today by the place that subcontracts me for work in the counties in my area.  He asked if I had ever considered moving to Charleston.  My name came up a couple of times in relation to a new project.

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