The invitation says to please let them know if you can’t attend and “regrets only”.  So, I’m thinking about the appropriate response.  Part of me says to just throw it away.  Part of me wants to send it back to her with a big “No!” written across it in black marker. Part of me says to call and say that I can’t attend because I have something more enjoyable and less painful to do — like pulling out my fingernails or squeezing my testicles in a vice.

Sigh.

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