I was thinking about the honesty and “little white lie” topic. GG brought up a common example: “Do these jeans make me look fat?” It occurs to me that if a woman asks a man whom she knows will lie to her that question, then she knows he will lie to her to keep her happy/sane/away from the offensive weapons. So, she knows that he’s lying to her. Which means she knows he thinks the jeans make her look fat. Why do the dance to get to the same result?
Now, by contrast, if a woman asks a man like myself if the jeans make her look fat, she gets a different result. If the jeans make her look fat, he says, “They aren’t flattering to you. The other pair looks better.” If the jeans don’t, then he says, “No, you look great in those.” Now, she knows she can believe him. And if that’s the case, she wins all the way around because not only can she feel confident she looks good when she does — she can trust his judgment to help her look her best by avoiding the unflattering jeans. If he’s afraid to tell her the truth to keep her away from the offensive weapons, then she runs the risk of going out in public in fat jeans because he was afraid to tell her to try the skinny jeans.
By my logic, women would want to know they could trust their man, instead.
Now…. what if the question she is asking is really code for, “Am I fat?” I think she needs to increase HER level of honesty and stop playing games. Just ask the question she wants to know, and feel confident that her man will — gently if necessary —
help her to achieve her best look by being honest with her.
If her real question is, “Do you still love me fat?” Well…… then she should just stop dancing around the topic and ask, “Do you still love me?”
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